1 AM

I sit here in my room at 1 A.M. not able to sleep, and yet I felt a need to share my thoughts with, well anyone who might read this. I feel life has been one grand adventure with great times and difficult ones as well. Serving Christ is difficult mainly due to me failing to serve Him. I feel most the time I desire the Lord, but from time to time I feel I desire to worship myself. I become my own object of affection. I know that this is sin and I desire the Lord to be first in my life. I feel a war raging between my spirit and my flesh. I can hear the words of Derek Webb in his song "wedding Dress" ringing in my head. He says "I am a whore I do confess I put you on just like a wedding dress and run down the isle." Christ is our groom and when we sin its as if we are sleeping around with others, but we still throw the dress on and run to marry Him. Why would Christ wanna marry us? Why would God love people who turn from him? I believe He loves us deeper than we can understand and this love goes deeper than our failings. Like a father to a son, I know I don't have kids of my own, but I do have a younger brother who is 3. The love I have for him goes so deep that when he disobeys I still love him. If human love is like this then God's love is deeper, more intimate, and everlasting. I trust in Christ's work on the cross for my salvation and know only in him can I find any hope or joy. May I run the race with endurance and fix my eyes on Christ. Wonderful counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of peace. May we be a generation who prays to the Lord.