Faith

As all the details of the trip have come together and the Lord has provided abundantly I still sit here and go "what about when I get back Lord." Where will I live and where will I work. I feel I want to finish school up and trying to afford an apartment and paying for school I always seem to come up short on that. So why do I not have the faith to know that the Lord will provide what I need when I return. How do I so quickly forget how the Lord takes care of me and provides what I need. Any thoughts on this?

23 Days and the rest of my life

In 23 days I leave for South Africa and take one more step forward in my life. The feeling of leaving America and living in a foreign country for the next 5 months has not really set in. I know I will have difficulties and struggles, but it does not seem real. How can one prepare for a trip like this? I read Gods Word and pray and keep moving forward in my walk, but I do not feel a person can truly be ready for what is about to happen.
This journey reminds me of Jesus and Peter in Matthew 14:28-33. Jesus is walking on the water and Peter calls out to the Jesus and says if its you Lord command me to come. In the end of this story Peter has little faith that Jesus has the power for him to walk on water. I want my journey to be different, I have heard the Lord call me to get out of the boat and trust him. I want to have the faith to know he will walk through the fire with me and carry me. If I try doing this in my power I will fail in every way, and I pray for the faith to keep walking on the water through the power of Jesus.

I have so many thoughts about who will I be when I return home? Will I be the same person? Will I have changed? I am scared and excited to see who I become and what this trip will do to shape me and my out look in life. When I am long gone from this place will my life show that I served the Most High God? Will His light shine through me? I pray it does.

Be in prayer for me and the team I will be serving with.

Isaiah 6:8 "And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?' Then I said, 'Here am I! Send me.'"

Update on Africa

As the date draws closer to my departure there has been so much more to do and worry about. The Lord has provided for me in abundence for my trip and once again I am reminded to trust in the Lord.

1. fill out application for Hands-On
2. Wait long time
3. Get accepted
4. wait more time
5. find out who is on my team
6. raise money for trip
7. get super excited and wait some more
8. Get flight plan
9. wait to leave on January 14th
10. most of all Pray

The Love of the Father

As my trip to Uganda Africa comes closer and all the details are being worked out by our Father. I began to think about who I will be serving over there and what I will be teaching and what kind of impact I may have. I watched a short video on youtube of a mission team that went to the same city in Uganda as I will be. I saw the faces of the children and saw the city. I fell in love at first sight of the children, their smile, and my heart was also broken into pieces seeing the sheer poverty they live in. How can you love people you have never met?

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 1 John 4:11

The love of our Father compels us to share His name to the ends of the earth. Many have gone before and many will go after. The truth we need to rest in is found in Zephaniah 3:17. Many of us have never read this passage but we sing a song about it a lot : Mighty to save. Our Father is a mighty one who saves. If we share with this mind set we allow God to work in us and those we share His name with. May we keep to the great commission and go to make disciples of all nations. The Word of God keeps showing the importance of sharing our faith so others may hear the Word as well. I pray as I prepare for this adventure I can be bold and share without fear my faith to those who God has placed in my life.

I need Jesus

As I prepair for all that is ahead of me, Africa, school, work, a family. I feel like I keep running into speed bumps, ditches, holes, craters, and the list goes on. I say it and sing it and preach it that all we need in Jesus. Do I believe it? Do I take hold of it? Do I run with it? NO most definitely NO. I wanna believe it I wanna say all I need is Jesus, but the reality is I feel I need Jesus and things to be easy. I need life to be sweeter filled with victories no failures. I thought when I believed in Jesus everything would be EASY. News flash it only gets harder. Harder to serve him, obey him, learn from him, and just be willing to say YES LORD.

I am not sure why at this moment in time I am struggling with all this. I know the right answers I am the bible college student. We have all the books that say what is right and what is wrong. I can tell all the theology just the right way, but when I have questions people seem to think I am less spiritual. People seem to think you've changed. No I am still me I just have questions and no answers. I wonder why one person is held to a different standard than others. Are we all not following the same GOD? (I am aware my thoughts are kinda here and there sorry.)

Is it less spiritual to wear flip flops or dress shoes? Shirt and tie or Polo? Jeans or dress pants? I think Jesus would say show me your heart not your shoes. Why have we made Church so religious? Why do we say your not Godly if you don't do X,Y,Z? There are believers in China who huddle around one small light bulb wearing dirty clothes reading one bible and they are worshiping the Lord. Worshiping him knowing at any moment the could be caught and killed for this. We get all to caught up in how we do Church and not in why we do Church. Now don't hear me saying Church is bad. When we worship our Lord with our hearts it is pure joy. I wanna be there in that place where all I need is Jesus and the rest is written by HIM.

I have not one clue if any of this makes sense or if anyone will read this. I use this space to let go of difficulties and ideas and just be free in who I am and what I believe. You may agree or disagree and that is fine. You are on a journey same as me and we never get it right. I am trying my best to serve the Lord how I feel led. May Jesus Christ direct my path and yours to the foot of the cross. I NEED JESUS

AFRICA

So I have finally gotten the official email letting me know I have been approved to go to Africa for a semester. I will receive 12 credits for college and will gain a lot of hands on experience. I am so excited to go but with so much to do before I go I pray it all works out. The cost for the trip is 2900 dollars and as many people know college students do not have an overflow of extra money. With needing shots and other small things that I am even not yet aware of I think the trip will cost closer to 4,000 dollars. Several people have already told me they would help and I know Gods people will step up to help as well. I am looking for any ideas to help fund raise. I am willing to work, I am willing to do whatever God has planned to make this all happen. I know it will test my faith and I am glad to see it strengthened. Several other things that come to mind is when I return I want to live in Williamstown once again I love this place. I wont have anywhere to stay or even a job. I pray God will open a place and a job for me. If you know of a place or have a place or a room or anything I am flexible. If you could be praying for me and praying how you can be involved in advancing the Kingdom of God in Africa.

Why are we running?

Over the past month I have been trying to run regularly, and with the weather it has been difficult. It seems to me when you have several weeks of good weather it is easy to get in a routine, but as soon as the weather gets rainy for a week its easily ruined. As I was thinking about this I thought back to an old journal entry I had. I asked the question "where am I running to." I know my desire is to run to the Lord, but how am I doing this? At times I hardly feel like reading my bible and I struggle with understanding it. I want to serve my Lord and be a faithful servant. My spiritual desire does not always line up with what I do. Just like running I get into a good routine and I see God move in mighty ways and watch him use me and others in ways only He can do. Then there is the rainy times were all I can do is pray for the sun to come out. I feel like God is far away and unattainable. I know in the rainy days of life God uses them to teach us and I wanna learn.
As I sit here listening to music a song by Rush of Fools came on and its called "Can't Get Away." The song talks about we can't get away because we keep running into God. WOW God intersects in our life's whether we want to or not. As a young minister I have many difficulties and struggles. I wanna do what is right and honoring to God and at times I do not have the answers. Who will listen and help? Who will guide? How will I know what is right? I feel like I am running at full speed and the goal is so far away I cannot tell if I am running in the right direction. Serving the Lord seemed so much easier 5 years ago when He save my hell bound soul. Life was slower and the struggles seemed smaller. Lord give me strength and courage to run the race with endurance.

Who will go?

This past week I was blessed with the opportunity to go to Youth Camp. While at camp I received a phone call from the International Mission Board. I have been waiting on this call for over a month. Strange thing was I had no reception on the campus, so for my phone to get this call was God ordained. This call was about my application to work overseas for a semester. I had applied to go to the Philippine Islands, but due to no other people wanting to go there I was faced with a decision. I could keep that job in hopes for a partner, but I could also end up not going at all. The decision I had to make was should I go ahead and change my choice of job or not. After several days of prayer and hearing God speak I decided to change jobs. I am still waiting for the confirmation letter, but with it I will be heading to Uganda, Africa. The hard part now begins I must raise money to go and there are several other logistical things to figure out. I know God has great plans for all our lives we must be faithful and follow him all in.

Preaching

As I sit in my pastor's office getting ready to preach before the church I have a feeling of inadequacy. I have been a believer for just over 4 years. I have grown in my understanding of the bible and about my savior. I still feel who am I to preach to anyone, I am a sinner worse than any. I need the power of God to speak through me. With out Him I am nothing, but a sinful man with sinful actions and desires. I pray the Lord would humble me and break me of my sinful ways and sinful desires. I need Him more than ever. Christ must increase and I must decrease. Show me the way Lord help sustain me and make me a powerful tool for your Kingdom.

Yearning

What do I yearn for? is it the Lord? Marriage? Wealth? comfort? It seems all to often I catch my self seeking after the things of this world. I try to keep up with the Jones' and always fall short. Last night as I watched the T.V. with my wonderful rabbit ears that were covered in aluminum foil. The reception went in and out and I caught myself desiring cable. Why? I know myself all to well and I would waste more time sitting watching T.V. I would be distracted more than I am already. The smallest things in life that we have we take for granted. Basic medicine, clean water, and so much more. How can I ever be so self centered as to want more. I don't need more stuff I need more Jesus. I need to yearn for him, seek him, give him praises. I feel that being connected to everything has blinded me from thirsting for the Lord. I am on facebook, myspace,twitter, blogspot, and I have a cell phone and T.V. How have I convinced myself that I need these things, or even want these things. I want to serve my God, but my flesh pulls me away from the things of the Lord. I want to divorce my flesh it deceives me and leads me into temptation. I want to be led to the foot of the cross, to the road less traveled, to the way, the truth, and the life of Jesus.

I want to yearn for Gods Word. I want to have a passion for His Word. I know the right answers to how to live and what I should do, but I have not always done that. I feel like a disobedient child. Like Adam and Eve hiding from God in the Garden. I know he sees me and my sin. I am thankful for the forgiveness of sins, but I never want to abuse His grace. May we all draw near to the throne of Grace and may our lives be ones that are holy and honoring to the Lord. Let us help one another in this journey. Push forward, never give up, and rest in His power, and his spirit. Lord I long to see you and thirst for you. May you satisfy my soul.

Another Journey

As we set out on the journey of life we encounter many obstacles and road blocks. How we over come or go around them shapes who we are and what we become. This time of the year is always a transition time from school to summer. For some it will just be another summer and for others it is the end of a large chapter and the beginning of the next. Their journey to college, work, or military has many roads. Where will I go, what will I do, how will I make it.

I can remember just three years ago I had these same thoughts and questions. I was not sure how it was going to work out or how I would ever make it without a miracle. The real miracle was I was going. Before I get to that we have to go back almost tens years to when I graduated. It was June of 2000 and I had joined the Marine Corps. I was to leave the day after graduation, but graduation never happened. It never happened due to a bomb threat on the venue of the graduation. So I would be heading away without walking with my class. To be honest I was happy I did not have to sit through a graduation with some 600 plus students. Looking back on it I wish I had been able to go.

I headed out said all my good byes and was on a plane for San Diego, CA. I arrived with some small delays along the way, but I had made it. The next thirteen weeks would be tough and it was going to make me a United States Marine. "The few the proud the Marines." That was going to be me all buff and tough with my M-16. Little did I know that my next chapter was about to have a big dead end. Just one week into basic training after I had been yelled at alot, shot in the butt with every needle available, and had received my rifle I got some bad news. On the seventh night the drill instructors inspected each recruit to make sure they were injury free. They looked at my feet and saw that they were red and blistered and sent me to the doctor first thing in the morning. I was told that I had problems with my feet and was heading home, but not before they got manual labor for a week. So I had made it two weeks and now I was going home. My dream of a military carer had gone up in smoke. What would I do now?

Once I came home I spent the next several years going from job to job. Trying night school for a few semesters and just feeling like school was not for me. I felt like there was no purpose for my life. All I did was work, eat, and sleep, and I had no friends they all went away to college. I became depressed and that led to drinking. What a great idea drink to cure depression, wow I was a bright one. I finally had a thought "If there is no purpose then why live." I decided to first go to church with my family and see if this God thing was real. If it was real then there was a purpose for me. The next year I kept going to church and was enjoying it. I had people to talk with. Nick and Chris invested alot into my life. They were the young adult/ youth leaders. They left after a year and I was back to whats going on I had no one again.

My journey kept taking turns and I felt like I was getting motion sickness. I left my church in search of another one where I could learn and grow. By this time I had two friends from high school I spent time with. I am so thankful for them and their love they showed me. My journey landed me at Westside Baptist Church where I meet some amazing people who would alter my journey. I came to true faith while at Westside and was led to my first overseas mission trip.

This chapter of my journey I would call my great commission year. In the winter of 2005 I decided to look at bible colleges and found my current school Boyce College. This decision came from a conversation I had with a dear friend. I had mentioned that I felt God telling me to go to college for ministry and his advice was "if God gave you a dream put some legs on it and get going." In the spring of 2006 I visited the college with my friends Jason Young and Darrell Morgan. Darrell had recently become an associate pastor in Williamstown, KY. This college just so happened to be in KY as well, and it was only a little over an hour away from him. After seeing the college I knew this was where I wanted to go to college. Before coming to college I went overseas again this time I spent 6 weeks and worked with a missionary. He taught me a ton about missions and what it meant to be a missionary.

My journey kept taking me places I had never thought were possible. I went to college and I am still there. I work with youth, preach and so much more. I never would have believed all this would have happened ten years ago when I graduated. My journey looks so much different than I had thought, but I would not change it for anything. The next chapter in my journey is to head overseas again this time for 4 months. I am still waiting on my acceptance letter for the program. So as I have reflected on my journey I encourage others to look back at theirs. For those young students know this that where ever your journey takes you God will be with you and His guidance will help you to be a faithful servant for His kingdom. Our journeys are a testament to the power of Gods saving work. If he can take a depressed kid with no confidence on the edge of suicide. He can use anyone of us for His great purpose.

Psalms 25:4 "Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths."

Hands on

I recently started my application process for Hand-on. Hands-on is a program where college students can go over seas for a semester and earn 12 college credits. The cost is 2,900 dollars for most jobs and that is a lot cheaper than paying full price for 12 credits.

This is an opportunity of a life time, but it doesn't come without some problems. Several things that come to mind are; how will I save the money for it. I will have to leave my job, but on the bright side my boss said she would rehire me. The biggest problem I see is where will I store my belongings and when I return where would I live until I am able to save enough money up to once again pay for a place to stay. I know that God in all His wisdom knows the answers to these questions, but that doesn't mean I have not thought about them.

The good things I see that can come from this are so many. I will gain hands on experience and challenge myself in cross-cultural ministry's. I feel called to go to Africa already full time, so this will give me an eye opening view of what life might be like for me. I am excited and scared. Praise God for his challenges to "Go make disciples." I also see this as a way to help my church in doing missions in the future.

If you could be in prayer for me, and what the Lord would have me do. I would be much appreciated. I would like to be praying for you, so if you have any requests please let me know.

On Mission

The church and the mission of God. There are many different areas that the church needs to be on mission. How does the church balance doing both local and foreign missions? I've heard both sides "we need to work with in our own community," and "we need to take the Gospel to the ends of the earth." Both are true and both should be done. The church has a duty to spreading the Gospel to "Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the ends of the earth." We need to always be on mission no matter where we are at. When we are out to eat at Cracker Barrel or on vacation in Gatlinburg, or where ever you may be. Sharing the Gospel is a call that all Christians have.

I feel the church I am currently a member of is spreading the Gospel to the people they are around and those they come in contact with. But the area I feel a passion for and a need to work on is our foreign mission. We have discussed doing a mission trip, but we continue to talk. A good friend of mine once said "if you have a dream put some legs on it and get going." I have a dream and desire for others to catch that dream to share the Gospel to people around the world. My great desire is to have people of all ages and backgrounds to go or help others to go. There are several steps to take to start the process.

1.Be in prayer for where the Lord can use us.
2.Asses our gifts and talents to see how we can be used.

These two steps help to begin the process and from there the planning will begin.

Be on mission with God.

Poverty

“I know poverty because poverty was there before I was born and it has become part of life like the blood through my veins. Poverty is not going empty for a single day and getting something to eat the next day. Poverty is going empty with no hope for the future. Poverty is getting nobody to feel your pain and poverty is when your dreams go in vain because nobody is there to help you. Poverty is watching your mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters die in pain and in sorrow just because they couldn't get something to eat. Poverty is hearing your grandmothers and grandfathers cry out to death to come take them because they are tired of this world. Poverty is watching your own children and grandchildren die in your arms but there is nothing you can do. Poverty is watching your children and grandchildren share tears in their deepest sleep. Poverty is suffering from HIV/AIDS and dying a shameful death but nobody seems to care". " Poverty is when you hide your face and wish nobody could see you just because you feel less than a human being. Poverty is when you dream of bread and fish you never see in the day light. Poverty is when people accuse you and prosecute you for no fault of yours but who is there to say some for you? Poverty is when the hopes of your fathers and grandfathers just vanish within a blink of an eye. I know poverty and I know poverty just like I know my father's name. Poverty never sleeps. Poverty works all day and night. Poverty never takes a holiday" http://cozay.com/

Can you hear me

What keeps us from hearing God? Can you hear him or is life to noisy. Our lives are so filled with stuff that we miss God throughout our day. I wanna pray to God more, but in reality there are other things to do. Like this blog. I wanna read His word more, but reality is there is always another book to read. I wanna hear God, but I do not make it a priority. Hearing God takes a slowing down of our lives. Are we willing to slow down?

America is on high speed all the time non stop go, go, go. We have drive-thru's for faster service, and we are always connected to the world via. cell phones, computers, and so much more. This high speed life has caused us to be disconnected to one another. Why have we become a non-social society where we no longer care about human interaction. We would rather go through the self check out lane at Wal-Mart, and we try to avoid people as we pass by them by staring at the floor. What happened? I feel this disconnect of human interaction has caused us to be disconnect from God. Technology has severed our closeness with the Father. We read of the fist century church with amazement of how they heard God. They spent time meditating on His word and they prayed with one another. Read Acts 4:23-31.

A few years ago I went on a prayer retreat with my friend Darrell and the first day was touchier for us we did not know what to do or to talk about. We had just spent several hours in a car with one another so the small talk was done. We went to a monastery, so no TV to entertain us. We sat around looking at one another not sure what to do. The second day of the retreat we spent 5 hours with the Lord in silence and by the end of that day we could sit, read, and we talked about our day with the Lord. We did it without the restlessness that we had when we first arrived. The retreat ended on the third day and we felt another day would have been really productive. We had begun to hear God and feel His Spirit move in us. I tell this story one to remind myself to slow down and hear God whisper. Two so maybe you will slow down and draw near the saviour.

What is stopping you from hearing from the Lord. What can you let go of to slow your life down. A word of caution, when the Lord speaks he does not call us to safety, but to be a barbarian for His kingdom. For a more on being a Barbarian read "Barbarian way" By Erwin McManus.

Will I go

Since I started this blog (yesterday) I have been really thinking what I should say. Do I really have anything worth saying or am I like every other blog that writes for their own amusement? I pray this will encourage others and in some way keep a record of my journey to Africa. So I and others can see how God is moving in our lives.

This journey started several years ago as I referred to in my last post. Since that dream was given to me it has been three years. I feel as if I will never reach Africa at the pace I am going in school. If I look at what God is doing in my life I can not help, but notice his hand at work though. Just one semester after starting school at Boyce (the bible college I attend) I started going to Williamstown Baptist Church. I started spending time with the youth group and I began to fall in love with youth. Next to missions in Africa it has become a second passion of mine. Working with them has challenged me and also inspired me. Seeing God use this time to stretch me and grow me for his purpose in his kingdom is worth it. So all is not in vain. What I am learning right now will help me to minister to others and help them grow to know God more.

The tension with being in the United States and desiring to go to Africa is a difficult balance for me. I know to be able to go it will take first getting out of debt, paying off student loans is the main area I have. Luckily I wasn't dumb for too long and I only accumulated a small amount. I say smallm, this is compared to many other students I know. So will I go. I have a desire to go and a passion for the place, but it will have to be on God's time.

Afirca

I love Africa and the many different people who inhabit the continent. I would like to go and share the Gospel with them. I am not really sure where in Africa and to which people group, but God will show me. I started falling in love with Africa right after I read the book “Dispatches from the edge” by Anderson Cooper. He is a reporter on CNN, and his show is Anderson Cooper 360. His book had all his adventures compiled in it and at the age of just 17 or was it 18. I am not real sure, I have not read it in some time, but any ways he talked about his time in Africa. They way he wrote made me feel as if I was standing right next to him along the journey. Since that summer of 2006 I’ve loved Africa and I’ve wanted to go.
The rich traditions and the heritage that is rooted within the continent of Africa is inspiring. Maybe I am just some dorky guy who loves different culture’s. I want to sit down and talk with the elderly people both at home and overseas. I want to learn from them about their life and the things that happened during it. There would be nothing better than to sit around a camp fire with a chief of a tribe in Africa and talk about his people. Where they came from and how they became who they are today. I would love to be taught how to hunt and build a hut. I watched a movie (Faith like Potatoes) the other day and they built a mud hut and I would love to learn how to do that. So I love Africa and I want to go.